I have been a musician for as far back as I can remember. Music flows through my veins like blood. It is the salve I apply to soothe the harshness of the real world. It has been a steadfast friend, always there, always offering comfort.

I grew up the third child and only daughter of a loveless marriage. My mother was a distant, often angry woman. She did her best but there wasn’t much mothering going on. I was a lighthearted, happy kid in my early years, but everything changed when I hit junior high. I had practiced kissing with a girlfriend over the summer, as we were excited at the thought of having a boyfriend and discovering the mysteries of love and romance. In the first week of school, the story that I was a lesbian spread like wildfire.

I became a target of constant bullying and abuse by a small group of tough girls.

My elementary school friends quickly fell away and I found myself very much alone. I went to my mother but she told me I was being ridiculous and oversensitive, so I was left to figure it out on my own. The attacks felt relentless. One time I was leaning under my desk to pick up my pencil and, as the whole class watched, Laura (my nemesis) started kicking me repeatedly. I looked up imploringly at my English teacher, who saw it all but just turned his back. I felt terribly betrayed, and distrusted most adults from that day on.

Through all this, thankfully, I had music. The girls never discovered me in the wings of the gymnasium, where I had found an old upright piano. I hid there at recess and lunch, playing that ancient instru- ment, consoling and healing myself. With music, I didn’t feel alone. My mother couldn’t love me the way I needed her to, but she did support and provide for years of guitar and piano lessons, for which I am deeply thankful. They not only taught me about melody, chord structure, and harmony, but, more importantly, they also opened up a whole new vista of emotional understanding, a lens through which I could make sense of the world and see my own worth. I didn’t know if I was any good but I knew how singing and playing made me feel: free, unburdened, joyful. Music released me from my loneliness by connecting me to something bigger.

I joined a band in grade 11 and the first gig we ever played was at Dalhousie University, to four hundred people. After practicing in a friend’s basement once a week, we were standing on a stage in front of all those people, drawing them in with the sounds we were creating. It was a magic I’d never experienced, a spiritual awakening. Music became my church that night—this, I thought, is what I want to do for the rest of my life. This visceral connection, this shared joy, is the best drug in the world.

From that first raw gig, amazingly enough, I was offered a deal to join a small independent label called Nettwerk Records. I quickly accepted and, after a year of art college, moved from Halifax across the country to Vancouver. I had been given the golden ticket and never looked back. I started writing my own songs and telling my stories, and, in doing so, began to heal. I figured out who I was and what I had to offer through music.

In 2002 I started a free music program for at- risk and underserved children and youth in Vancouver. Public schools were cutting music programs so a lot of kids had little or no access to music education. With the help of the non-profit school Arts Umbrella, we launched a pilot project, which soon became the Sarah McLachlan School of Music. We now serve more than a thousand kids a year between our three schools, in Vancouver, Surrey, and Edmonton. We provide a safe, nurturing environment where everyone has a voice and is heard, seen, and valued.

What I would have done for a place like this when I was growing up. Hearing the kids’ stories and seeing their pride in their songs brings me so much joy. I am thankful for everything that has brought me to where I am today. My struggle gave me a deeper empathy and sense of purpose and music gave me a voice to do something about it.

Sarah McLachlan has sold more than forty million albums worldwide since 1989. She has received three Grammy and twelve Juno awards and was recently inducted into the Canadian Music Hall of Fame.